The Legend Of Zelda: Strip Poker of Time
by RadicalEdward
Summary: What happens when the Final Fantasy characters find themselves in the beautiful land of Hyrule? This is really farfetched but... please review...


The Legend of Zelda: Strip Poker of Time

  
  


If Link had been able to wish for one thing, it would be that the events of the last month or so could've been cancelled and everything could return to normal again. Now, he had twenty-two people other than himself to care for and protect (protect is literally speaking) who were definetely unfamiliar to the land of Hyrule and it's surroundings and right now, they were giving him a headache.

  
  


"Hey Link!!! Tell Irvine to stop bugging me!!!" Selphie yelped between a giggle as she fired a 'Blizzaga' spell after the young boy, who had been shooting bullets after the poor brown-headed girl. Watari grinned at the sight of the two fighting, Tifa and Quistis, who didn't quite like each other form they first day they met, were bitching after one another, while Asuka, Tsuzuki and Hisoka stood on the side, watching them do so with the same exasperated looks on their faces. Cloud, Barret,o Red and Vincent were playing a friendly game of poker against Rinoa, Squall, Zell and Headmaster Cid, while Zidane and Dagger were making out in a corner of the room. Aldebert Steiner was desperately trying to get the princess' attention while Freya, Vivi, Eiko and Amarant were quietly looking around Link's small (and I mean SMALL) hut. Quina was in the small kitchen, looking for yum-yums (If you played the game, you'll get this 'famous' phrase). How had they all gotten together? Link didn't know. All he knew was that they might be good fighters to have by your side in battle but they were definetely not the type of gang you wanted to travel around with!!! It had all happened a few weeks back, as Link was returning from Termina to Hyrule...

  
  


Link had been playing strip poker at Princess Zelda in the castle of Hyrule. Princess Zelda, who happened to really suck at poker, was down to her bra and undergarments. 

  
  


"Okay Zelda, this is it... You lose this one, and you lose the top or the bottom..." Link grinned evily as he shuffled the cards. He passed them around. The deck of cards had a picture of the Triforce on it. The game of poker began as soon as it ended. Zelda lost, again. But she wasn't about to be shamed by Link that way. 

  
  


"You won't get the best of me, Link... I summon the power of the Triforce, to give you a handful of tasks to do while I get dressed again." Zelda lifted her hands up in the airs and mumbled a few incomprehensible words. A great rumbling fell on the land of Hyrule. Link ran outside the castle, to his dismay, to see what was going on. His eyes grew big as he saw what it was that was causing the noise. Three giant airships were closing in on the castle!!! He had never seen anything like them before. He heard Zelda amused giggles from inside the castle as she joined him outside to watch as the three mechnisms came to a 3stop in Hyrule fields, one, the big blue one, nearly crushing LonLon Ranch, the other, a medieval looking one, causing an avalanche on Death Mountain, destroying Kakriko village in the process and the third, smaller and more technologically advanced than the others, came to a swift landing, knocking down a few barrels of apples and destroying the door to the Temple of Time in the process.

  
  


" NOOOOOO!!! NOT THE TEMPLE OF TIME!!! I WON'T BE ABLE TO BECOME YOUNG AGAIN, AND PLAY DIRTY TRICKS ON THE FOREST FAIRIES!!! PRINCESS, WHAT IS THIS???" Link looked terrfied as people came out of the three mechanisms, six people out of the big blue one, eight out of the modern one and eight out of the medieval one. "Princess?!? Princess?!? Where did she go?!?" Link looked around to see where Zelda had gone, but she was nowhere to be found. He saw the weird looking people talk to each other, drawing swords at one another and a few walked towards him. Link pulled out the legendary Master Sword, scared of what those people had in store for him. "What do you people want?" Link asked, but the people seemed to ignore his question. A giant sweatdrop fell on the side of Link's head as he watchedd the people argue.

  
  


"What do you mean I stole your Gunblade?!" The spiky blond haired man asked, while he ran away from the other brown haired man standing against the Airship.

  
  


"...Whatever." He looked as the other one grinned and tried to shoot the black man with one arm. 

  
  


"2000 gil, 3000 gil, 4000 gil... Boy, that kid over there sure has a lot of money.. I think I'll go steal some more...." A brown-haired girl in a ninja getup grinned evily as she walked towards a blond-haired boy with a monkey tail.

  
  


"Hey Zidane, that lady over there just stole your money..." A small, blue-haired girl tugged on Zidane's shirt sleeve, pointing at the brown-haired thief. The young man shrugged it off, too busy listening to a beautiful, dark-haired girl talking to him. Link couldn't believe his eyes. They were practical idiots, the whole of them.

  
  


"Hey you mother*&?%$#!!! Get away from the Highwind!!! You big piece of sh--!!!" An angry, blond-haired man screamed as he pointed his huge spear at a young man in a cowboy hat, who was snickering as he ran away, pulling a young girl in a yellow dress by arm's length.

  
  


"Ummm... Excuse me.... But what are you all doing here?!?" Link put away his sword, since he felt as though these people weren't a threat to either him or the princess, wherever she was, but felt as though he wanted to ask them a few questions.

  
  


"HEY!!! Who are you?!?!" The spiky blond-haired boy approached him, pointing what was the other boy's Gunblade at him.

  
  


"Umm... no. The proper question is: who are YOU?!?" Link gave him his authoritary look, pulling out the legendary Master Sword, even though he didn't think that the Master Sword was worthy of such disgracing enemies.

  
  


"ME!?! I don't even know who I am... All I know is that my name's Cloud Strife, and that I was THERE IN NIBELHEIM!!! I KNOW I WAS!!! I WAS THE SOLDIER THERE, TIFA!!!" Cloud clutched his head between his hands as he fell down to his knees. Link gave him a flabbergasted, frightened look, not knowing what to do. The red-eyed girl came to his rescue.

  
  


"Tifa Lockheart... Pleased to meet you, mister..." She pulled out her hand as she picked up Cloud from the floor.

  
  


"Link, from Kokiri Forest..." He shook the young girl's hand.

  
  


"Please, don't mind him... He does this all the time..." She punched Cloud in the stomach, hard. He stopped wiggling almost immediatly. Link winced in pain as she dragged the half-concious man back to their Airship, what the blond man had called the Highwind.

  
  


"Well, I guess we could all use a proper introduction." A young man with long black hair spoke out, his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm Vincent Valentine, and believe me, I don't want any business to do with any of you." He started to walk back towards the Highwind. 

  
  


"Grouchy!!!" The young blue-haired girl screamed after Vincent. He just ignored her as he continued to walk down the small path that led to the Highwind. "Well, my name's Eiko, and you sure are cute, mister." The small girl winked at Link, who found himself blushing at the young girl's comment. She started to walk back towards the crowd of people she had been with. "This is Zidane" she pointed to the blond haired boy with the monkey tail, "Dagger" she motionned towards the dark-haired girl, "Vivi and Aldebert Steiner" she pointed to a small black mage and a knight, "Quina, Freya and Amarant" she pointed to the Quan, the dragon knight and made a disgusted face when arriving to the bounty humter. He started bitching after her almost immediatly after. Link sweatdropped watching the two fight as Zidane stepped up. 

  
  


"We'll be returning to the Hilda Garde now. If you need us, that's were we'll be..." He picked up the little girl by the arm and started pulling her towards the medieval looking Airship.

  
  


"That kid's got a lot of mulah!!!" He saw the ninja stand up in the crowd. She was looking towards where Zidane was as she snickered and returned to counting the stolen gil. "WHAT?!?!" She gave out her tongue to the rest of the incredulous bunch that was watching her act. "Well, I'm Yuffie Kisaragi, and I'm gonna go count me booty elsewhere..." She said as she picked up her stolen bounty and headed towards the Highwind. He placed his eyes on the man with the gun arm who had been arguing with a plastic cat. 

  
  


"I'm Barret Wallace, and this here numbskull dumb-ass cat's Cait Sith." They both headed, still fighting, towards the Highwind. There weren't much people remaining, and the sun was starting to set in the land of Hyrule. Link was still flabbergasted as he took a look at the group of six that had come out of the blue aircraft. They hadn't said word since they had arrived. 

  
  


"Umph! SNOBS!!! Introduce yourselves properly!!!" Eiko, who was still being pulled away by Zidane yelped as they entered the Hilda Garde.

  
  


" Umm... Whatever..." Link didn't know what to say at the brown-haired boy's comment. "I'm Squall Leonhart..." He started walking back towards their Airship.

  
  


"Don't mind him, he's so attached to Balamb Garden, he obviously can't let go of it..." The girl in the yellow dress snickered as she pulled the boy with the cowboy hat by her side. "I'm Selphie Timmat and this is Irvine Kinneas. Pleased to meet you, Link..." The young girl jumped a bit in the air and started running towards what she had called Garden. 

  
  


"I'm Quistis, and this is Zell, Rinoa and Headmaster Cid. If you need any help in fighting any enemies in the region, we are the trained SeeDs to call, unlike that Tifa-bitch and her gang. So unprofessional..." Quistis sulked as she started towards the Garden, followed by the remainder of the people, who headed to their respective Airships. Link's mouth nearly dropped about a mile seeing this. But he decided not to make much of it tonite. He was tired of all the commotion and wanted to go to bed. But he didn't have the princess's permission to stay in the castle.

  
  


"Oh well, she'll never know anyways..." He started climbing up the stairs towards the castle×. He would worry about that tomorrow. 

  
  


But it seemed tomorrow had its own brand of surprises and if Link had known, he would've taken care of the 'crazy people from another planet problem' the night before.

  
  


***

  
  


*end of part 1! Please review*


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